By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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