I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
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Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
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I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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