You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
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What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!