# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.