Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.