Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
