My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm at about main and main street
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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