it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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