I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.