I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex