don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..