I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.