That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
