I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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