Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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