Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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