I'm going to jail i love you
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
