Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize