i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
