if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
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