Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
