Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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