what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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