After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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