Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
