I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
