I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Me too!
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I wish i was in the wii world.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
