tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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