my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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