im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize