we're blogging at a bar
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
