But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
