It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
