so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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