i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
