Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
