Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
