have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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