i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
