This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
