Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
