I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
