i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
