I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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