i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
