Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My dick has a subreddit
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
