i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
