Can Purell be used as lube?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
