I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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