Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
