he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
