I just saw a hot homeless man
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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