You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
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im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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