Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
