i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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