i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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