We're like a lot better than the average bears
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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