I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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