I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
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this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
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Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"