And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sext me about skeletons
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?