Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
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Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
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How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life