mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs