Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
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