I'll bet she douches with gravy.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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