i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
