Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
