I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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